Is it normal to feel like a total rejected? Well I don't know if it is but that's exactly how I've been feeling for a couple of months. I feel like I'm losing everyone I used to love being around with. It's like everything changed and I can do nothing about it. I just want my old friends back. They were awesome. They were everything. And now I'm here, alone...Missing them. I wish everything was that simple: Hey! Do you want to be my friend? Unfortunately nothing is that simple in this thing we call life. Everything has to seem hard and hopeless. How can I fix things up when I'm the one who destroyed everything...who messed things up? Why have I done that at the first place? I mean... I'm fucking stupid! I deserve exactly what's happening to me at this moment. Yes. I do deserve it! I'm just a selfish, self-centered, careless and useless person. At least I still have my close friends... But will they get tired of me one day? That's what I'm wondering... That's what I'm expecting to happen (Expecting not wanting). But anyways... I'll just need to find a plan to fix things up. Cause I can't go on like this anymore. I feel like a total no-lifer, unwanted person. Maybe I am, but I least I just want to stop feeling like it. Will things get better? Will things come back like they were before? Hope so. I think the only thing I should do right now is let the time do things for a little while and then maybe start considering on having a plan to regain my friends.
'' I ain't waiting for a miracle I ain't waiting for the world to change Under my skin lives the reason Under my armor I've lost it all ''